Ally Friedman

Case Study

  How would you like to be described?

I would like to be described as someone who can be counted on, is hard working, kind, passionate, trustworthy, caring and compassionate. I want to be seen as someone who works hard to make a difference in the world. Someone who uses her strengths to help others believe in themselves. 

How would you describe what you do?

I work with young girls and teach them the importance of a healthy life and how tennis can teach them empowerment. I work to help girls recognise their self worth and learn to love and accept themselves. 

What is your greatest achievement?

To this day, I am honoured to have achieved the Billie Jean King Youth Leadership award as well as to be selected to work and be a part of UNITE 2030, Youth Delegate Program. 

What was the cause or ’trigger for this journey of making the world a better place through being useful and kind? And how old were you? When did you realise you could make a difference? 

 When I was in 10th grade (16) I traveled to Zimbabwe to volunteer with Hoops 4 Hope. This is a nonprofit organisation that works with children all over Zimbabwe and teaches them life skills through basketball, song and dance. After seeing the smiling faces of the children I knew immediately that I wanted to impact children positively through sports. I played sports for as long as I can remember. Beginning with sports camp, and then leading to little league and then at 9 years old I began to play competitive tennis. Sports has always been such an important part of my life that when I was in Zimbabwe and I saw how coaches were teaching kids empowerment and life lessons through sports I immediately knew that is what I wanted to do with my life. 

Was it something your parents are/would have been proud of and encouraged?

I grew up in a family that works very hard to help others, by volunteering, helping out, or just being there for people. When I began to talk to them about my ideas and the impact Hoops 4 Hope had on me I could tell that they were immediately proud and excited. 

Who or what were your early influences?

Growing up a girl in the tennis world Billie Jean King was immediately a very key figure and influence. I remember reading books about her as well as just doing my own research on everything she has done to help create equal opportunities in the sports world. Another person who influenced me massively was my tennis coach. He helped me not only be a better player but I learned countless life lessons from him. He told me the things that were important to hear even if they were the last thing I wanted to hear. 

What were you doing at 16?

I was 16 when I traveled to Zimbabwe. I was working with kids all over and being the happiest I have ever been. At that moment when I was 16 standing on the basketball court with hundreds and hundreds of kids running around I was alive. 

What advice would you give your 16 year old self?

I have always been very very hard on myself. I would tell my 16 year old self to take a breath and enjoy the process. I often get stressed out and instead of enjoying myself and everything I am doing I get frustrated if something goes wrong and forget to enjoy the journey. 

What advice would you give to other young people?

I think all young people should be given the advice to stand up and speak their minds. I know still to this day I struggle with speaking in public and just talking about myself and what I believe in. I think that if more young people believe enough in their purposes and who they are the more they speak out the better it will be for the world. 

What has been the most difficult challenge on the way and how did you overcome it?

Throughout my programme I came to each practice with a set lesson plan that I created a few weeks prior. I think it was definitely very flexible for me to learn that things do not run smoothly especially when it comes to teaching 18 young girls. I had to learn that it is important to be flexible and with flexibility comes strength. Being able to change the lesson plan and react to little inconveniences on the spot is very critical to being successful and making a difference. 

What do you think are the changes we need to see in the world and how can being U&K help solve those things?

The thought of making changes in the world sounds intimidating, but I believe that everyone can make a difference once they get in the mindset that they need to be Useful and Kind to themselves. For many, they are so focused on treating others well that they forgot to be nice to themselves. I think it is critical to making a difference and seeing a positive change in the world that we begin to focus on treating ourselves nicely, because that will translate and shift and help teach the next generation. 

How are you Useful and Kind to yourself - what helps and hinders?

I am very hard on myself, however I am constantly working on being Useful and Kind. I’ve noticed that it is challenging to be Useful and Kind when in a high pressure situation. For instance, when I am playing a tennis match and not doing as well or playing as well as I could, I begin to get very frustrated and say not very nice things to myself, when in reality I should be hyping myself up. 

How are you both Useful and KInd to others (the easy ones and those who are more difficult to be U&K to)?

As tough as it is, I alway try to be the bigger person. I know who I am and even if somebody wrongs me I want to treat them in a way that at the end of the day makes me feel proud and not embarrassed. 

What is your biggest challenge in the future?

I think I stand in the way of myself very often. I believe that I am sometimes my biggest worst enemy, and once I begin to really believe in myself, I will be able to work hard and get through whatever obstacles come into play. 

What do you wish you had done differently?

I wish I began to speak up at an earlier age. I have always been one to overthink but not share my ideas. I wish I learned to trust myself earlier on.

 Reflections:

Here are some things to think about.

1 Initial impressions

2 What do I most admire about Ally’s story?

3 What lessons have I learned from her journey? How have her values imbued her work?

4 How can I be more #usefulandkind to Self, Others and the World based on her example?

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